Getting Out and Coming Back

There’s a rumor of a blizzard across the lower 48, hammering New York City, with cars crashing, police overwhelmed. Up here in Fairbanks, it’s “March” already. Snow-wise. With temps in the thirties and forties the last two days, strong undeniable sunshine, and incredible skiing.

Marin, Annika, Teo and I met up with two mom friends and their kids on Wednesday at Birch Hill. Cooper, John and Teo were on skis. Moms Paula and Nina and I held their hands or called them back, skiing alongside. Paula was also pulling Quinn in a little sled. The sun was warm and lovely after the long dark cold winter. After a half hour, I switched out with Marin, rocking and consoling Annika, while she took the Matteo watch. Out in the world! It felt like a resurrection.

Speaking of resurrection. I’ve been working on an Easter Sunday talk for our local UU Fellowship. I was thinking of doing a straight “In Lieu of Resurrection” topic, which would be about how the friends of Jesus first experienced his death – as death, loss and oppression (by the brutish Roman invaders), and subsequently began to find the courage to realize that his life didn’t disappear with his death. His vision, his kindness, his community, and his story could continue. But only if people – they themselves – refused to cower from the challenges he confronted.

So how can that happen for us, lacking the deceptive “reward” of an afterlife? That would have been the heart of the Sunday “talk,” and the challenge would have been to address where we in our Fellowship find ourselves in the face of “brutish invaders” such as fear-of-terrorism, consuming militarism, anti-immigrant racism, runaway corporate interests, blind consumerism – lots of life-denying challenges. Where is our “resurrection,” as UU’s? Can we learn anything from the metaphors, rituals, and narratives of Christians facing the same “death-dealing?”

When I went to the Religious Exploration meeting on Tuesday, we started talking about making this topic into an intergenerational service. I began to think about it, and realized that the Jewish Passover story, the Christian Easter story, all benefit from the earlier Pagan everlasting-Spring story, not to mention the Buddhist story about discovering and embracing freedom from suffering. Hm.

The Chalice Circle questions for the coming week are about this issue – how we as individuals find resources for transformation. We have talked about our own biographies, our religious stories, the Unitarian story, and how we fit into the Fellowship itself. Now, what do we have to offer? One of the questions goes: “Are there books, authors, poets, friends, teachers, singers, radio stations, plays, communities, times of the year, places in Fairbanks, drives, walks, songs, prayers, memories, or any other "midwives" to the birth, within you, of your healthy, strong and vibrant spirit, "reliable guides" which can bring you to a sense of being deeply connected, exhilarated, at peace with yourself?”

Well, I was feeling pretty bad, personally, about this line of questioning, swirling through my post-Annika life. There was less sleep, no writing, a new exciting job with the UU’s, planning a trip to Tacoma for a UU conference next week, family visiting our little Pepita, changes, distranctions, fun and forgetting. I was going to add, “no exercise,” but we’ve been out on the trails two of the last two days.

And that’s the thing.

After skiing came, surprisingly, writing. A blog entry. After writing came a new sense of self, a confidence. Similar to answered prayer, but different. Interesting how personal this issue of “getting spiritually lost” and “recentering” has been for me the past months, not to mention the last 40 years!